Posted by: S.Hofmeister | February 28, 2011

Bad: Have you Sheen the state of him?

I love it when a celebrity goes completely mental.

Charlie Sheen has the sort of life that most men his age dream of.

He earns around $2,000,000 for each 20 minute episode of one distinctly average sitcom and he lives with (and presumably makes awkward, geriatric love to) these three women:

Bree Olsen - The Porn Star

Brooke Mueller - The Ex Wife

Natalie Kenly - The Nanny

Admittedly they look particularly good in the pictures above.

Here’s a more realistic view of how they look on a day-to-day basis:

All they need to do is add two guys into the mix and they could re-make the 1991 children’s TV series ‘5 Children and It‘ with Charlie Sheen as the Psammead.

Despite the rather ropy day-to-day look of his harem it would be incredibly easy for him to lock himself away in a drug-filled fuck-palace, totally aware and thankful of the fact that he’s a very lucky 50-year-old man. Other men all over the world would wake up every morning in a loveless marriage next to their wizened old wives, glancing briefly at them and tutting with bitter resentment before trudging downstairs to start another boring day in the same old boring job. As they say goodbye to the kids they didn’t even want and fumble around for the car keys that they just know are somewhere down the back of the sofa covered in lint and bits of old peanut, they would think to themselves.

“God I wish I was Charlie Sheen.”

Now though, finding themselves in exactly the same grim (and largely inaccurate) view of modern-day family life as above, they are more likely to think.

“It could be worse, I could be Charlie Sheen”

Look and listen to the state of him:

What’s brilliant about this (apart from the fact that he says that he’s a “rock star from Mars”) is that it’s infinitely more amusing than the god-awful comedy series that had to be put on hold as a result of the state he’s in.

Having said that I would like them to finish the current series of ‘Two and a Half Men’ but rename it ‘One Man, One Boy and a Deluded Bellend’





  1. It’s just so tragic because I grew up watching this man!

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