Posted by: S.Hofmeister | August 30, 2010

Bad: People think that vampires exist

A woman in America reversed into a ditch because she was being chased by a vampire:

The thing is, she wasn’t being chased by a vampire was she? Vampires don’t exist. What she’s actually done there is lied in order to get some attention.

Also, the girl at the end (who’s probably about 6 years old so her opinion doesn’t really count and it’s embarrassing for the news channel to have even interviewed her) said that there is a Vampire in her home town and he’s called Glen Mills.

Ouch, poor Glen. That guy probably exists. He was probably sat at home, about to tuck into a vegetarian lasagna for one when that came on TV. OK so he’s a bit pasty, he doesn’t get out in the sun much because he works nights and yes, maybe his canines are a little longer that average but so are a lot of people’s, right? Now his life is potentially ruined because some cocky little shit girl mentioned his name on the local news and all the kids in the area are going to think he’s a vampire…great…cheers.

The website mentioned – – is also…interesting.

E.g. “How to know if you are a real vampire”. Here’s a couple of my favourite excerpts:

Do you tend to get a high from human blood? When drinking someone’s blood do you tend to find yourself being able to do something that they could do (that you couldn’t do) about 2 weeks after drinking it?

Way too much effort to go to in order to find out that you’re probably not a vampire. Also I think ‘something they could do‘ needs more explanation. Something like what? Impressions? Suduko?

Do the words “come on outside, it’s a nice bright sunny day, and there’s a lot of people out,” seem more like a bad thing than a good thing to you, as opposed to the guy who said it to you, saying it with a big happy smile?

Do the words ‘are you a vampire?’ make you think ‘yes, yes I am’?

Idiots, go and die again.


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