Posted by: S.Hofmeister | April 7, 2010

Bad: Insignificant Long Haired Man Dislikes Insignificant Long Haired Woman

Five TV presenter Justin Lee Collins has said that he doesn’t want Katie Price on his show

This has to be one of the most insignificant pieces of ‘news’ i’ve seen in a very long time. The very first few words of the headline immediately let the reader know that whatever is involved in the rest of the story is utterly meaningless:

‘Five TV presenter…’

I can’t think of one TV presenter from Channel 5 whose opinion matters (arguably my opinion doesn’t matter either but…well…shhhhhhh). Actually I can’t think of one TV presenter from Channel 5?

But wait…I read on:

‘…Justin Lee Collins…’

Ah, I’ve heard of this person. I’ve heard his name before. “Where have I heard his name before?” I ask myself. Oh yes, he’s that ‘funny because of the way I talk not because the words I say are funny’ man from the West Country who used to interview celebrities with that ‘funny because I’m very camp and not because the words I say are funny’ man with the glasses on that god awful ‘funny because everything we say is painfully obvious and the studio audience are stupid’ Friday Night Project.

Here they are:

Stereotype A and Stereotype B

But wait…there’s more…

‘…has said that he doesn’t want Katie Price on his show.’

OH NO! You mean to say that nobody is going to be able to see loose-lipped (take that to mean whatever you like) media whore, Katie Price on mind-numbing farmer-spaz, Justin Lee Collins’ new show on incredibly unpopular terrestrial TV Channel…’five’?!

Justin Lee Collins’ side-splitting witticisms combined with the dazzling intelligence of Katie Price surely would have made for a stellar interview not to be missed?!

ugh


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